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Who am I? What am I? Why do I feel like this? What is my purpose? Do we all ask ourselves such questions consciously or not? I am sure that we all do at some point in our lives, maybe while we are in our 20s when we start to experience life. But, do we all care enough in order to find answers to those questions?
I’ll describe to you my experience with that. I was always interested in finding out what I like and what I’m good at, but I never had the chance to look deeper and find out the reasons why I do the things I do in certain ways , why I prefer this and not that or why I think the way(s) I do. And there is more to that, but I think you get the grasp of it.
After I graduated from my Master’s I had to move back home, and it was tough. I got depressed. It was not OK. I had to deal with the fact that things didn’t go as I planned, I was searching for a job, and I missed the great friends I made and the life I had as a student for the last 5 years. At that period, I kept a journal about my ideas and the things I would like to do career wise and in general. Reading through my notes, however, made me realize that I was unaware of what type of person I was. And by this I mean that I was not fully aware of my personality traits, my pros and cons, and how to utilize all these combined with my knowledge. (Does this makes sense? I hope it does.) Then, I thought to myself “Maybe I should look into it. Maybe this is part of what triggers my anxiety and insecurities.”
So, I started searching through the internet about personality types. Boy, thay was a long search. I read phycology articles and took several personality tests and compared the results. I also came across a great website called 16 Personalities , which I totally recommend! All of the test I took suggested that I belong to the ISFJ personality type and so did the 16 Personalities test. Their approach, though, it just spoke to me. Reading through their version of ISFJ, felt like doors that were previously locked shut, magically opened and I finally had access to the wonders they were hiding behind them.
Long story short, this whole research took me about 2 months. What it pleasant? Not really. It was kind of … shocking I’d say. It was as if I rewired my brain. But, the emotional payoff was so worth it. A weight was lifted off my chest. Now, I finally feel that I belong somewhere; that I am no longer lost. That I’m not weird or strange or a snob or whatever. I’m different, in a good way, and I learnt to appreciate that. I started to understand myself -even though it is hard for people around me to do so- and love *me*. I now depend way less on others’ opinions about me. AND, this process helped me build a stronger Résumé. Fill two needs with one deed, right?!
No lies, I’m not perfect. I am never going to be, but I don’t mind. I still struggle to keep things like overthinking, and everything that might come with it, at bay. At least now I can control it and understand it. I know my strengths and weaknesses, where they come from, and what I can do with them . I learnt to appreciate myself even when I’m gloomy. My advice is that if you feel uncertain, take a break. Just try to disconnect from the world for a little bit and look inside *you*. You have no idea what great things you will uncover. So, good luck!
P.S.: I’m open to questions and I’d love to give advice if needed.
So, I had this idea of creating my own blog for two months. I kept postponing it because I was so uncertain, and afraid (mostly that), about how it was going to work. Of course, nothing will work unless you try, right? Only then you will learn whether that *thing* was for you or not.
Lately, I’ve being trying to push myself, little by little, to actually do the things that inspire me, yet I usually preferred to admire from a distance. To be honest, doing this to myself feels kind of unpleasant. It’s so easy to not have to stress yourself – and the last thing someone wants in their life is more stress. But, deep inside I know that all these things I like or I dream of, will never become mine and part of my life unless I try. Basically, we need to give ourselves a wakeup call every now and then. Less slacking. More happiness.
And in case people are wondering how much courage it takes for a person whose middle name is Fear to start doing something new, well it takes a lot. I woke up today and told myself “you are going to start this blog. No questions.” Yet, I spent the whole day (over)thinking about it and I was one step away from calling it off. But, I pulled it together and here I am (coffee always helps). And that makes me proud.
And here it is. Bliss in a Jar. We all think about bliss, happiness, joy. And can we all find it in so many different things. I am still searching for it, as millions of other people on this planet. My Jar might be empty at the moment, but when you have ideas and visions for you as a person and for your whole life, all it takes is a *spark* and everything will light up. I don’t want for this blog to be a long personal bucket list. What I want is to share my tips, thoughts, experiences, and the things I’ve learnt from them until now, in hopes this might help others. Don’t get me wrong, I still have a lot to manage and learn. But, I think that it’s easier when you are not alone. So, hop on!